03 Feb The Communer: Delving Deeper
Last year there was a resounding response to my idea of “The Communer,” in which two people support and reflect one another in presence and intention as they move toward their goals.
Recently I learned of someone who has put his own version of the idea into practice, with great results.
I asked Robert if he would allow me to interview him, via Skype, so we could all hear in depth about his process. Please take a look at the video below and let me know what you think.
You can also email me directly with questions you have for Robert, and I’ll be glad to forward them. And apologies for the less-than-stellar quality of the video – we’ll learn from this first effort.
Kristen Reynolds
Posted at 21:13h, 06 FebruaryI really liked meeting Robert and hearing about how he works with his friend for support with projects. I have tried to describe to my readership how this kind of listening is different from giving advice or solutions. Nevertheless, I find that people struggle to conceive of something they have never seen. I have thought about every television show or movie that I have watched, hoping that I could remember an example of this kind of listening. The closest example I’ve been able to recall is “My Dinner with Andre”, which does a pretty good job of showing two men talking WITH one another as opposed to AT one another. But it is not really communing.
Perhaps you are already thinking about having some sort of sample dialogue that would show communing in action?
raphael929
Posted at 21:16h, 06 FebruaryThanks for your input, Kristen. And what I great idea to post a sample dialogue! Actually I hadn’t thought of it, but now can’t wait to make it happen.
Mary Kay
Posted at 12:26h, 07 FebruaryAfter watching the video, a question came up for me. Can both people, the communer and the partner, each work on the same project? For example, if I need to do taxes and my partner needs to do taxes, can we both commune on each of our tax projects? Or is it recommended that only the communer and his/her project be the subject of focus?
Wendy
Posted at 13:32h, 08 FebruaryI would really like the opportunity to commune with someone, just to check in and share with each other how we are right now, with the focus being just to connect and to share whatever is going on for us at the time – if there is anyone out there who would like to do this on skype, maybe once a week or so? My skype connection isn’t always wonderful but it’s not that bad.
John Rio
Posted at 03:43h, 02 MarchThanks Raphael and Robert for sharing this way of connecting. I recall how calming and nurturing it can feel for me to work with friendly colleagues in an open plan office, or to live with a partner, and to just check in with each other periodically, and also to feel the presence of a friend or friends around me throughout the day. Add to that a deeper level of compassionate presence and that sounds like a wonderful experience. I have been living and “working/not working” mostly solo for most of the past few years, and missing that quality of connection in my life, and I feel grateful for this new way of creating connection and support for each other. I have just started a 2 year compassionate communication training and I look forward to sharing this with my new classmates.