13 Nov Why We Need More From Each Other

(This piece will take about 10 minutes to read. Due to the current emergency we’re facing, I leapt out of semi-seclusion to share it. Please hang in there till the end, as it builds toward a challenge that is specifically for you.)

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Stunned. Bewildered. Angry. Sad. Scared.

These are some of the feelings people around me have been experiencing since the election results last week.

First I want to say – me, too. I’ve been doing my best to stay present and open to all the emotional waves, and to care for the more fragile parts of myself by taking substantial breaks from the re-traumatizing headlines.

But we are a community of acceptance, which means welcoming the parts of the world, and of ourselves, that we like and want the least.

Top on that list is the fact that about 75 million people voted for Donald Trump, which is almost 4 million more than voted for Kamala Harris.

Welcoming the existence of those Trump voters includes asking ourselves, with genuine curiosity, who are they?

Most of the people on this email list may know a few of them, but probably not many. I honestly don’t know many myself.

While there’s a core group of those voters who are die-hard Trumpers, and who join him in extreme racism, sexism, xenophobia, and transphobia, that group definitely does not make up the majority of Trump voters.

Among those voters, for sure, is a majority of decent, loving people. I say that because I believe most human beings are decent and loving, whether or not I agree with them politically. They want the best for themselves and the people they care about, and they want a fair shake in achieving that.

I’ve paid close attention as the pundits have dissected what went wrong for Harris and the Democrats. Some link it to the economy and inflation. Others point toward voting groups like young men, who have come to trust that Republicans will do a better job representing their interests.

Some analysts fault President Biden for not getting out of the race earlier. Others blame the Democratic party for anointing a candidate without a primary, or Harris directly for neither distinguishing herself from Biden nor drawing sufficient attention to all the ways their administration actually helped working class and middle class people over the last four years.

None of these viewpoints make sense to me because they treat this election like any other election. They suggest that traditional means of explicating campaigns can be successfully applied to the Trump victory.

They can’t, because never before in American history has there been a presidential candidate convicted of a felony, likely about to be convicted of more, facing significant jail time, and responsible for an insurrection against the federal government.

Never before has there been a president or presidential candidate who consistently spews lies and hate, and who acts in ways that we would never tolerate from our own children.

Conservative activist George Conway wrote: “The man…has no moral or social conscience, empathy, or remorse.”

All that has been on full view since 2016. It’s why so many of those who worked directly with Trump in his administration, so many whom he himself appointed, warned us to never let him come to power again.

And yet, nearly 75 million people gave him a pass.

Can I accept that?

It happened, so I have to, otherwise I’m doomed to live in denial.

I have to because, like it or not, we’re stuck with him again for another four years.

I have to if I want to be effective at preventing the harm he may inflict on the world.

Which brings me to my reason for writing. Democracy can never be taken for granted. We have to fight for it time and time again. That is another thing we must fully accept.

People, even wonderful people, will often choose a strongman, and an authoritarian regime, over a democratic alternative.

When such strongmen blame the “rigged” system and its corrupt insiders for a lack of economic opportunity, and position themselves as the only ones who can stick it to the powerful on behalf of their followers, those followers feel truly seen.

They come to believe their candidates can do no wrong, and in the process become blinded to the all the danger afoot.

We see this throughout history, all around the world. It just hasn’t come to our own shores before, at the national level, previous to Trump.

Now that this strongman syndrome is here, we don’t have the luxury to just complain and lick our wounds. The values and policies that we most cherish are in serious jeopardy.

If there’s a chance to rescue democracy from Trump’s grasp, it will take all of us getting involved more than we’re used to, or than is convenient.

This presents a unique challenge for many of us, and here’s why.

We start out with great enthusiasm to heal and transform the world. Then, at some point along the way, we begin to despair and burn out. We realize that much of our passion had come from projecting our unhealed wounds onto the people and issues most dear to us.

So, we withdraw. We focus on inner work, and seek out fellow travelers. We gratefully support one another. We purposely avoid situations which are full of rancor and toxicity in order not to disturb our hard-won equilibrium.

All of which is great…up to a point.

If we stay out of the fray to meet our own needs, we also unintentionally cede the halls of power to those who haven’t tamed their own demons. And this becomes the great shadow of our movement for personal and spiritual growth.

That shadow is captured in the famous Yeats quote: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.”

This time, we can’t let that happen. If our love of one another is true, we must return to the halls of power, no matter how unseemly they may be, and advocate fiercely for the earth and all its inhabitants.

If we don’t, I’m sorry to say, then we become complicit in whatever Trumpian hellscape may befall us. Of course that eventuality would be something for us to accept as well, but until that moment comes, we don’t yet have to.

Remember, accepting “what is” does not mean we can’t work to change it before, during, and after it has come to pass. Before is better, of course, and in this case before starts now.

In the loosely translated words of the great Jewish sage, Hillel, “If I am not for myself, who am I? If I am not for others, what am I? If not now, when?”

Okay, but how? In what ways are we to reemerge from our collective retreat and fight the good fight? What is worth doing at this point, and how best are we to do it?

The good news here is that are as many ways to light a candle in the darkness as there are candle lighters.

We are all free to proclaim our “loving no” in the face of tyranny however it fits us best. We are all called upon to envision and build a better world with whatever tools and approaches suit us, even though Trump and his Republican party will soon control all branches of government.

If you choose to take to the streets in protest, march with a proud and open heart (and maybe dance a little while you’re at it).

If you’re able to assume a leadership role, speak at public hearings or run for the local school board.

If you choose to donate money to those making change on the front lines, give more than ever before.

If you’re a pleasure activist who uses joy to uplift the collective spirit, light us up.

If you’re one to draw upon intention and prayer as your contribution, take that further than ever before.

If you’re drawn to create community, join those around you practicing mutual aid. While you’re at it, meet more of your neighbors, organize pot lucks, seek out people who don’t necessarily agree with you and listen deeply to their points of view.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure you keep recognizing and releasing whatever difficult emotions arise along the way – resentment, resignation, disgust – so that your resistance to those emotions doesn’t impede your efforts.

No matter what, though, don’t go back into your cave. Keep engaging, keep giving the struggle your all, especially when things look the most dire.

Lean on those you love. Lean on the wholeness inside yourself that you’ve spent so much time and energy to cultivate. After all, this is a large part of what that wholeness is for.

Martin Luther King Jr. popularized the saying, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

But here’s the thing. It doesn’t bend toward justice by itself. If it bends, it’s because we bend it. And at certain moments in history, like the one we’re in right now, that endeavor becomes more crucial than ever.

So I ask you, I implore you: will you bend it with me?