26 Feb Emotionally Connected Men? It’s About Time!

The usual ratio of participants at my retreats is about 80 percent women, 20 percent men. This tends to be true, too, in the world of personal growth overall. While it’s easy to make the case that men need to embrace vulnerability and healing as much or more than women, the prospect of male inner work is a hard sell.

One year, for my P4 program, I actually issued a bounty: $100 for anyone who brings a man onboard. Total male enrollment that year: 0.

This year, one brave man did express interest, but when he found out that he was the only male in the group that was forming, he politely bowed out. The exchange between us was actually the genesis of this email.

Bottom line – Most men are courageous enough to go to war, yet simultaneously too terrified to feel their own emotions.

Perhaps if we cast Emotional Connection as a badge of honor, an aspect of true masculine power, we’d get more sign-ups. It’s a stroke of genuis that the ManKind Project calls their own weekend workshop the New Warrior Training.

In a moment I’m going to offer an invitation to you men out there, and to the women who might genenerously pass the message along. But first, a brief story.

Years ago I went to my publishing company with a book idea: Emotions for Men. My editor told me, “That’s the worst idea for a book I’ve ever heard. It violates every tenet of the business.” When she noticed I was a bit shocked, she continued.

“In the book business we search out a market with a need, and then do our best to meet that need. Since men don’t see themselves as emotionally deficient, such a book would never sell. However,” she went on, “If you’d like to write a book for women about how to get their men to become more emotionally intelligent, that we’d be interested in.”

I took all this in. I began to imagine a book called Teach Your Man to Feel, in which the first chapter would advise women to hide the book where their man would never, ever find it. That book, as you might surmise, has yet to be written.

And yet, many men do have at least an inkling that connecting emotionally would indeed serve them, that it would make them more powerful rather than less, and that vulnerability plus masculinity leads not to weakness but instead to a radical increase in sustainable well being.

Which brings me to my invitation.

I’m ready to convene a men’s emotional connection gathering online, in which we explore our inner lives in a manner especially suited to our gender.

This group will be designed for those who don’t need convincing that emotional self-vulnerability is key to human wellness, yet may not feel totally comfortable going deeper in a coed context.

Or, they may see a special added value in taking the journey just with men, and in demonstrating that such a journey is indeed possible.

I should say that I’m almost ready. That’s because I want to find the men first, and then develop the offering with them, making it a customized co-creation that serves the group best.

Should we stay small or welcome all comers? Should we include an in-person retreat or make the group accessible to people the world over, with just an Internet connection, and with no need to travel in order to participate?

Addressing these questions and more will allow us to serve one another best.

So, for right now, I just want to hear by email from men who are interested in principle, with no actual commitment necessary. Once we have the nucleus of pioneers in place, we’ll roll up our sleeves and get creative.

Consider this a passionate plea to spread the invitation far and wide, through social media and your offline connections as well.

If potential participants would like to know more about the work we’ll do together, send them to watch the first three videos here: http://hiddenpowerofemotions.com/video1

Or send them to read my two articles for the Oprah magazine here:

https://cushnir.com/enter-the-library/articles

Or just send them to https://cushnir.com for a brief spin. And, as always, I’m gratefully available for any and all questions you, or the men in your life may have.

Thank you in advance, and here’s to Emotionally Connected Men!