27 Apr Something Rare and Wonderful

Picture this: A weekend with four “presence partners.” People with whom you feel safe, connected, and loving. People who are skilled in appreciative inquiry, insightful reflection, and compassionate, empathetic space-holding.

Now, imagine that each of you have a couple of hours of individual focus, during which the whole group is there to help you deepen into the next step of your evolution, starting with the fullest possilbe acceptance of where you are, right now.

Between these sessions, there’s plenty of time away from “process” to cook and eat together, play, exercise, and just be. Always with an emphasis on whole-hearted (and often silly) joy.

Wouldn’t that be amazing? Wouldn’t it sing to your own soul?

Last weekend, I was invited to just such a gathering, to function as guest facilitator. I wasn’t a guest, exactly, because I know each of the participants well and we’ve worked together before. So it was a working reunion of sorts, and it truly inspired me.

I’m writing about it here because we don’t have many models in our world for such gatherings. If you’ve been following my work for awhile, you know I’ve been working to develop such models and make them available. In the meantime, I want everyone to know it’s possible, it happens, and it works.

“Yeah, but what if I don’t have those kind of people in my life?” you may be asking.

The good news is that these participants didn’t know each other either until they took part in some of the programs I offer. So if you show up where your particular Spirit is called, and put your interest out there, it’s very likely your own healing tribe will come together for you.

In case you’re interested in the details of what this quartet put together, I’ve listed their guidelines below. As you’ll see, they have an ongoing, well-structured way of communicating, of which the weekend was just one part. If you have any questions for the group, just let me know and I’ll pass them along.

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Guidelines, Values, and Commitments

We commit to creating a safe environment for practice. Our work with one another is confidential to this group.

We will treat one another with respect. We will listen to one another and ensure that everyone is heard.

We will do the work that we commit to and will look to our partners and the group for support. If we fail to show up, we are truant and not doing the work.

We will honor our commitments to our partners and the group and will renegotiate in a timely manner if change is necessary.

We will explore what comes up for us and agree to being honest and transparent with one another, including about being triggered.

We will talk through any problems that arise in our partnerships or in the group. Coming back is the practice and support is the process.

We may engage with non-partners, but primary work and processing is reserved for our partner in that month.

We may ask for advice and will refrain from giving it unless invited or given permission.

In seeking support, we can talk with others in the group about what is shared by others unless they expressly ask us not to.

If something comes up that needs to be discussed with a member of the group, we commit to talking with them directly and not about them with others. Issues between individuals can be brought to the group after at least one attempt to talk directly.

We will consult with Raphael if there is an impasse.

 Call Structure

Calls are twice monthly at 7pm on the first and third Thursday of each month.

Calls will be moderated. We will take turns in sharing that responsibility. If a moderator must be absent, they are responsible for arranging their replacement.

Moderators will open, run and close the call and are responsible for keeping time (others can help with this responsibility).

At the start of the call the moderator will ask if anyone needs to go first. If not, they will choose the order.

We commit to sharing fully and honestly on the call. We may postpone our turn if we are not ready when called on by the moderator, but we may not disappear.

Twice monthly calls are a priority and will go forward if at least three can participate. We will discuss what to do if two cannot make it.